Man-made
Why was I standing in the rain?
A tear trickled down my cheek, not that I could really feel it, with all that rain washing down my face. Or maybe it was just because I was already numb.
Numb.
The opened umbrella I held in my hand faced the ground. Rainwater collected itself into a puddle in it. It was useless now.
Not that I cared.
Lightning flashed. Thunder roared. I was standing in the middle of an open field. And there I was going to stay.
Like the castle on the cliff. I could see it from where I was. It had stood there for centuries.
Maybe I would do that.
It was really hard to imagine. Me, Blair Rutherford, the good discipline rule-following girl. Even my name had the good girl feeling.
But I'd changed.
No, I didn't become bad. I'm not stereotypically good-girl-gone-bad. No, everyone gets it all wrong. Or maybe they were educated to grow up this way.
Because for me, there is no such thing as 'good'. Or 'bad'.
What is good? Love?
Then what's bad? You leaving me here? Getting strike by lightning?
No.
Those were just the way -still is, actually- the universe works. What it does. Lightning has been striking for eons, ages before we even existed in this physical three-dimensional flesh things we are. Like pests. There are actually no such thing as pests. Those pests are actually just insects eating what the eat to survive. Pest is just a label. Actually everything to humans in the universe are labelled. Our names - they're just labels too.
The thunder growled like a hungry bulldog. The sky opened itself up wider and the rain poured. I decided to sit down, my legs were starting to ache.
Without thinking, my body lowered itself into the thick gooey mud. I think I went back to my thoughts. Maybe I was going insane. I wondered if they had a psychaitric ward in the castle. Maybe not.
The universe is neutral. But some things made you feel one way, some make you feel differently. Like eating fruits. Some are sweet , some are sour. It depends on what you prefer.
And the same goes with drugs and vitamins. Drugs do one thing to you -and your cells- and vitamins do another. If you like your cells to be killed off one by one, then go ahead. Everyone dies in the end. It is about what you would like to do during our time on earth and how much time you would like.
Like playing a game. You are locked in a room with some things and given, say, an hour to play or do something with those stuff.
It would be really nice if you could get the organizer of the game to give you one whole day to make something really nce and useful with the things in the room. But maybe some don't want that. They go in for 10 minutes, make a mud cake and say they're done; they're out of that room.
Like death does not mean bad. Sometimes, it releases a person from pain and suffering -also, not that theses two are bad. We just don't like the feeling sthey give us- and most of all, it cleanrs people. If there was no death, I don't think that there could be new life. How would the earth sustain things that keep appearing but not clearing? Resources would not be enough too.
Everything happens for a reason. I don't think that we should regret anything.
Like you walking away, leaving me vulnerable to electric bolts from the sky. Maybe it was meant to be like that. Maybe you and I would find someone that fits into us and our lives like a missing jigsaw puzzle.
Because, can you ever be wrong about yor soulmate? I don't know.
Anyway, I got up. The rain washed the mud off me, leaving my clothes clinging to me like their lives depended on me.
And I trudged throughthe meadow, heading toward the castle. Maybe Dracula was there.
Or better still, Edward.
A tear trickled down my cheek, not that I could really feel it, with all that rain washing down my face. Or maybe it was just because I was already numb.
Numb.
The opened umbrella I held in my hand faced the ground. Rainwater collected itself into a puddle in it. It was useless now.
Not that I cared.
Lightning flashed. Thunder roared. I was standing in the middle of an open field. And there I was going to stay.
Like the castle on the cliff. I could see it from where I was. It had stood there for centuries.
Maybe I would do that.
It was really hard to imagine. Me, Blair Rutherford, the good discipline rule-following girl. Even my name had the good girl feeling.
But I'd changed.
No, I didn't become bad. I'm not stereotypically good-girl-gone-bad. No, everyone gets it all wrong. Or maybe they were educated to grow up this way.
Because for me, there is no such thing as 'good'. Or 'bad'.
What is good? Love?
Then what's bad? You leaving me here? Getting strike by lightning?
No.
Those were just the way -still is, actually- the universe works. What it does. Lightning has been striking for eons, ages before we even existed in this physical three-dimensional flesh things we are. Like pests. There are actually no such thing as pests. Those pests are actually just insects eating what the eat to survive. Pest is just a label. Actually everything to humans in the universe are labelled. Our names - they're just labels too.
The thunder growled like a hungry bulldog. The sky opened itself up wider and the rain poured. I decided to sit down, my legs were starting to ache.
Without thinking, my body lowered itself into the thick gooey mud. I think I went back to my thoughts. Maybe I was going insane. I wondered if they had a psychaitric ward in the castle. Maybe not.
The universe is neutral. But some things made you feel one way, some make you feel differently. Like eating fruits. Some are sweet , some are sour. It depends on what you prefer.
And the same goes with drugs and vitamins. Drugs do one thing to you -and your cells- and vitamins do another. If you like your cells to be killed off one by one, then go ahead. Everyone dies in the end. It is about what you would like to do during our time on earth and how much time you would like.
Like playing a game. You are locked in a room with some things and given, say, an hour to play or do something with those stuff.
It would be really nice if you could get the organizer of the game to give you one whole day to make something really nce and useful with the things in the room. But maybe some don't want that. They go in for 10 minutes, make a mud cake and say they're done; they're out of that room.
Like death does not mean bad. Sometimes, it releases a person from pain and suffering -also, not that theses two are bad. We just don't like the feeling sthey give us- and most of all, it cleanrs people. If there was no death, I don't think that there could be new life. How would the earth sustain things that keep appearing but not clearing? Resources would not be enough too.
Everything happens for a reason. I don't think that we should regret anything.
Like you walking away, leaving me vulnerable to electric bolts from the sky. Maybe it was meant to be like that. Maybe you and I would find someone that fits into us and our lives like a missing jigsaw puzzle.
Because, can you ever be wrong about yor soulmate? I don't know.
Anyway, I got up. The rain washed the mud off me, leaving my clothes clinging to me like their lives depended on me.
And I trudged throughthe meadow, heading toward the castle. Maybe Dracula was there.
Or better still, Edward.
